i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize
