I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize
