I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
