dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
