I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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