Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
