The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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