Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
