What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
