If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize
