We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
