I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
