Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I'm sobbing to NWA
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Randomize