a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
the night ended with taco bell and tears
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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