Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
