one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
