Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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