I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
