They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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