have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
