So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Randomize
