I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
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