apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
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