Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I just gargled with NyQuil
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
