Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
