Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Randomize
