Fine. I'll sleep in my office
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
