Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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