Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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