you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
