I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Randomize
