you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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