Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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