After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
