I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
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