It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Randomize