Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
