we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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