Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Randomize
