Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
His hands were made for my vagina.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
