just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
