I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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