Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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