Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Randomize
