but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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