She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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