Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
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