hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Randomize
