They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
