white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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