Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
