Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
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