I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Randomize
