life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
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